Saturday

Riding to Discovery

Yesterday, after on a whim, Aaron throws the idea out to buy bikes, we did! :) The whole "finding a bike" process was not very easy since I am only 5 feet tall. The bikes were either WAY too tall, or the handle bars were too far out. I swear I'm cursed with everything because of my size. Anyway, after searching and falling into the racks while trying to get on and off the bikes (i'm all bruised up), we finally found one. Of course, it is a bmx bike since the mountain bikes are giants, but it is pink and black...and adorable :)

We took them out for the first time today :) Oh what fun! I have not rode a bike since I was 11 years old. But I got back on like I have been riding my entire life. That saying "you never forget how to ride a bike" really holds true I guess. Well after a few minutes my legs were killing me. They were burning and I felt like I could peddle any more. Of course, at this time, Aaron is not bothered at all. He's in better shape than me. I'm whining and he's telling me to "c'mon, you can do it." My legs felt like jell-o, but I managed to push on. And I'm glad that I did. Every time I wanted to quit, he would let me rest for a minute then say let's keep on going. It was great :)

What I am getting at is how Aaron motivates me. I dont ever want him to think that I give up when things get hard, because that is not typically how I am. But man did my legs burn! It was a lot of fun, and I got to see different parts of the area in which I live that I could not have gotten to in a car.

It was a good ride. A ride to discovery, not only of the area around me, but discovery of myself. :)

Wednesday

Looking Forward-Then Looking Back

You know how when you are really excited for something, it completely consumes you. All you do is think about it and wish that it would just "come on already." You imagine how it will be and how it will unfold. Then most of the time, things do not go as planned. Lately, planning Aaron and my big day, has made me so excited, too excited, for it. It is all I think about and I am on the computer countless numbers of hours researching all the fine little details. Yes, I know this is just the girly thing to do. Having the perfect wedding is every girl's dream...well...most girl's dream. I'm starting to see, however, that maybe I shouldnt be wishing the time away. I keep saying how much I wish it would just be here and happen. But then, what would I have to look forward to? Haha. Yes, spending the rest of my life with Aaron is something to look forward to. But that's a little different than the buildup feeling of looking forward to something big. Once the wedding day comes, it is over just as fast, and then the real life part happens. Do not get me wrong, I am looking forward to real life...but I also realize it is going to be far from a piece of cake.

Basically, what I am trying to get at is, we should all just enjoy the little moments that lead up to something big. Without the little moments in between, the big thing could possibly be disappointing. You spend all the time wishing it would come and not just enjoying laughter and happiness, excitement at its best.

My wedding planning goal: take time each and every day to think about non-wedding things or do something just for me. Something that makes me happy simply because it is my own happiness, not created by outside forces. Ta Dah! :)

Sunday

Move with the wind

For the longest time, my heart had felt as though it had nothing to express. That it was simply doing as little as possible to keep me pushing through, but not pushing me to truly live. I was lost on a path of knowing what I wanted, then changing my mind, then almost having my heart torn completely from its home. It has been quite a journey these past few months. But now...I feel like I can begin to breathe again. I can walk outside and hear the birds chirping and feel the breeze dance across my cheeks and caress my hair. It feels so pure, so honest, to be able to feel life at its truest.



I never want to look back now. I want to keep pushing on with a child's view, where all that matters is to fall upon happiness and let it swoop me up in its grace. It will shine for me-- the sun will burn in my eyes and shower me with its warmth. I will be able to see past any ounce of pain and turn it into something beautiful. That's who I truly am. The brighter things dance around in my brain, and I sing. I sing so loudly that my ears start to scream because they cant let my brain think. Think. Think. Think. I think too much. And from now...I will just live. Why should I think before every move, every breath. Sometimes living in moments of absent thinking are the best. Yes. Dont think, Kimberly. Just move with the wind.