Deserts never feel the rain

You know those moments when you say something and as soon as you feel it coming out of your mouth, you pause...because you know you just changed the future -- you know you will be proven wrong in your assumptions?

I had one of those today.

We were driving in the car talking about the weather in our new home, Idaho. I brought up the fact that it hasnt rained or even given a hint that it might rain, since we got here. It has not thundered the least little bit and gray clouds were nowhere to be seen. This, of course, saddens me. I love the rain and the feeling you can taste when it's in your presence. It is my therepy, my inner healing. I get lost in the sound of the shallow drops exploding on the window. There is nothing more naturally beautiful than a rainy day, where i'm all cuddled up in a fleece blanket, crossed-legged on the couch -- just watching -- just listening -- just feeling.

Like all the nights passed, I was sitting at my computer, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash. At first I thought..eehh...maybe I was just seeing things. Then the tingle of thunder echoed in the distance. Yes. Thunder. Lightning. The hint of rain I had been yearning for since the day we got here. So here I am, with the curtains as wide as they will go, waiting to hear the first droplet of rain hit the window.



Perhaps it will never come...

But I got the hint -- that you can never be sure in life. When you least expect it, the unexpected happens. And like the lightning dazzling in the corner of my eye, beauty can unexpectedly pounce upon you. Most likely...you will never see it coming.

There is magic and beauty in things unexpected...always.

Forever, Eternally

An echo of your face is all to be seen
for distance is what we hold together
apart, but not in our hearts
rare and honest, our love is
forever-eternally-ours



Quiet whispers of love across space
oh, if only the stars were in my reach
then i could fly to where you are
to hold the only man who is
forever-eternally-mine



You could hold all of me
as we danced on the moon
and confess every word
that i will always be
forever-eternally-yours



Forever and for eternity
my love...

reach your hand, i'll follow.

I found myself today -- I was running across the mountains of Wyoming. The sun was the brightest i have ever seen. Running blind, i was, but it did not matter to the little girl who is me. Barefoot amongst nature's entrancing whispers, i could stop for nothing. i was wound up in myself, lost in my own thoughts that screamed for nobody to hear. There is nobody but me atop the mountains of wyoming. For there is no entrance nor an exit. The wind must trample upon you, lifting you to weighlessness. Only then, can you taste the mountains -- only then can you get lost. And lost i was. I saw myself flying over the greenest of all the green you could ever imagine. I reached my hand out...to see if we would collide. If my two selves would become one. Half of me is just not enough. At least not for today.

I love to imagine a life unstructured--uncomplicated. Where i could live among the untouched land and spend every moment being in love & laughing & dancing.

Oh, how i love to love out loud. To kiss with my heart; because a kiss is more than the touching of lips, but more of an explosion deep within, that makes us fall to the ground. And laughter, it escapes with no effort as our teeth and tongues hold no boundary to its presence. So we dance across the mountains as the stars begin to twinkle in his eyes -- or is it just love that shines so brightly? At this point, i cant tell. We are too far lost in eachothers' grace, hand in hand, moving the mountains as if gravity holds no force over us. And that's just it. Nothing holds force over us -- over our love, except for our own hearts. In this unstructured world...there is no say from others.

He is King. I am Queen. & together, the mountains are ours.

Miss Emerald Eyes

I am a pretty simple girl -- young adult -- woman? Some days and some moods, i'm not quite sure what label should be branded upon my name.

I want simple things, i really do. Laughter, love, family and friends is all anyone really needs. [it is all i need and desire.] As each day waves goodbye to my innocent self, i gain more insight into what life has to offer me. Or what i myself can bring to this life offered by the heavens.

I love to find beauty in nothing. I love to hear music in noise. I love to be simple in a world dying to be anything but something so unspecified. I am not a girl who stands out with an undying talent -- or who stops people in their tracks from breathtaking beauty. I am not the words on everyones tongues or someones breath of fresh air. My morals shape me -- my dreams inspire me to be better -- and my happiness is derived through love and the simplicity of life. I want so much and so little at the same exact time. Because to me, the things that mean everything are seen as nothing to all the people that pass me on the street. I am love. I am laughter. I am everything that everyone never notices.

Here I stand, no more than the little girl I used to be. I have a disney princess coloring book and crayons that lie on the table at my side, as i type away. Driving in the car, we pass a playground -- and i want so much to yell [STOP], because all i want to do is stop everything around me and play. i still pull things off the shelf walking down the toy aisle. i laugh at my own jokes and dance around my room to my own singing. See....i'm simple -- life just tastes better that way.

I'm more than what you see -- can you even see me, or do i remain invisible? i'm shy and timid -- just one of the many things i have not let go of from my childhood. sometimes i keep secrets with myself, because there is no one around to listen [at least not the kind of people that listen with their hearts.] at times though, i run from myself -- from the world. Simply because i can. i go to a place of beauty, a place invisible to everyone but me. i find comfort in the worlds' nothingness -- because it is something of my own, as if i dreamt it up and it melted from my brain onto the canvas only my eyes can see. Simple...

I will find beauty in what the world has casted as untouchable, because i put in use the ability everyone has, but chooses not to dust off. You see the stars -- i see the milky blackness that caresses them ever so softly. I see everything; i see the nothing in the unseen, the untouched. You dont see me...? Close your eyes -- imagine -- let the sun rise in your mind; im there.

I'm simple like the wind that blows the flowers from your hands -- like the pretty bow that gets tossed to the floor -- like the calm before the storm.

simplicity is rare in this glamour infused world -- but does that truly make it more desirable?

Dont cry my love -- it's only distance.

"I dont want us to be crying the last time we see eachother."

Those were my exact words.

We walked out to the car where my parents were all loaded up and ready to go. I set my couple bags on the ground next to the back tire and threw my arms around my fiance -- my love -- my everything. I kept thinking about the fact that it was our last hug, our last kiss, our last everything for four months [or more]. Without warning...the tears started to stream down my cheeks. They were uncontrolable. I did not want to cry. I told myself I wouldnt. But again...I was the weak one. Somehow...that's what i've always been. And for me-- he was strong.

It just goes to prove that no matter how you try -- you cannot always control your emotions. There are times where you can hold it in, but deep inside the real emotion is always there. But at other times, the feeling can consume you until you know nothing more than to feel. Sometimes, you just have to cry.

And sometimes you have to laugh -- And sometimes you have to yell.

Life is just funny like that...