Music = Love

My 10 Favorite Songs of Summer 08

1. Just a dream - Carrie Underwood
2. Johnny & June - Heidi Newfield
3. All I Want to Do - Sugarland
4. Summertime - New Kids on the Block
5. Crash Into Me - Dave Mathews Band
6. Home - Blake Shelton
7. I'm Already There - Lonestar
8. Forever - Chris Brown
9. Gunpowder & Lead - Miranda Lambert
10. Just a dream - Carrie Underwood

Yes. I do realize I put Just a Dream on the list twice. This song is so amazing -- simply because it has meaning. It deserves two spots on the list. It is such a sad song and when I first heard it, it brought tears to my eyes. But you dont find too many songs that can pull at your heartstrings, like this one does. Not unless you're listening to older music. The music of today is a bit....pointless, i guess you could say =]

Lead me not into temptation...

Life is funny.

It hardly ever works out like you plan in your head, but sometimes that is for the best. I have recently been thinking about so many things. I feel like my brain is forever constructing new thought processes.

It is intriguing to me how one person can change your whole outlook on things. How one conversation can steer you in a completely opposite direction. And how temptation is lurking behind every corner. But...I see now that each person comes into your life for a reason. To test you...to help you...love you...to bring joy to your life. You just have to believe that each person is there for one reason. It is easy to be confused and tempted into doing something that will only bring regret later. But in these times of confusion, it is important to think of what that particular moment is meant to uncover. Is it meant as a test or is its purpose to simply bring joy. Sometimes the mind is clouded by outside influences -- but it is crucial to take a step back and analyze the outcome of a decision. Dont always act on a spur of the moment thought or feeling, because it may not be what you want the next day. One person may make an impact on your life, but how you place them in your life is of main priority. Friend, lover, enemy -- each status has its own power over your life. The only thing that matters, is placing them in the right spot. Because with one wrong piece placed on the table, the puzzle may never be completed. Life is a puzzle -- the pieces are all around us, simply waiting to be linked together.

Something old - new - borrowed - & - blue.

I have begun brainstorming ideas for my wedding. It is more than exciting. There is so much I want to do and so many ideas that run through my head each day. It is funny...I will be out somewhere, and I will see a flower or something and I will automatically start thinking about wedding plans. "That color is pretty...maybe I should choose that as a wedding color...no it's too bright..." etc, etc... I am glad I have two years until the wedding, because I am going to need the planning time. I want it to be simple -- not too much -- but i want it to be beautiful at the same time. I plan on putting as much "handmade" feel into everything I possibly can. From invitations, to favors, to the decor' -- i want it all to be sentimental. Yes...i could easily purchase everything I need...but it means so much to put my hardwork and time into making "the best day of my life" truly the BEST. I want our wedding to represent Aaron & I -- && i truly think that our wedding should be one that touches the heart with a simple & irreplaceable beauty. It is not about the material things --it is about what each piece represents and the sentimental importance behind it.

That bad dream feeling...

I hate waking up from an upsetting dream, where i am left sobbing in my bed. I dont say crying, because it is more than just tears. It is as if my whole body is in compliance with the feeling -- and i am overthrown by it. I feel it from deep within. All i remember is having a dream about the end of the world coming and i was so distraught because it was before my wedding. I kept saying..."i just want to get married and have kids...that's all i've ever wanted..." It was so sad. What a great way to start the day, huh?



10 WoRsT tHinGs tO drEAm AbOUt

1. The end of the world
2. Loss of a loved one
3. An ex lover when you have someone new
4. Having a break up
5. Scary dreams [murderers, etc.]
6. Being kidnapped
7. Being lost/ unable to find way
8. Phobia dreams [clowns,spiders,snakes,etc.]
9. Funerals
10. Falling,drowning,burning, etc.

10 BeSt ThinGs tO drEaM aBOut

1. Being with boyfriend,girlfriend,fiance,husband,wife, etc.
2. Accomplishing a goal
3. Going on a shopping spree
4. family get-to-gethers
5. newborn babies
6. Cute && Cuddly Animals
7. Vacation to a desirable place
8. Overcoming a fear
9. Happy no-basic-plot
10. One's Wedding

I walk the line.

My last day of work is friday && It seems so surreal that it is all happening now. I'm at that stage where you know change is coming and all you want to do is run the other way. I have friends here -- my fiance is here -- everything i know is here! Idaho might as well be a million miles away. I wanted change so much; i've become accustomed to experiencing new environments every few years while growing up. I crave new places like i crave chocolate, A LOT! But as I am starting to realize, it is easier said than done, to walk away from everything you know. I want time to stop so i can soak up as much of this place as i can before i wave goodbye. I keep thinking of how long i will have to wait to see my fiance. I have a movie that plays in my head everytime i think about the day i will leave -- we are waving to eachother as my car drives off, just like in the movies. It is sad and I dont want to do it! Why cant shrink rays exist?!? Because then I could just zap Aaron and keep him in my pocket =] Oh, if only life were that easy -- make everything right with one push of a button.

Enemy in Disguise

Distance is a mere enemy to me. In only 11 days I will be 2500 miles away from my best friend-- my fiance -- my life. I try not to think about how hard it will be and just how slow time can truly take to be released. To some 4 months may not seem to be a long time, but when you must spend time away from the one thing that keeps life worth meaning something, one day -- one week -- one moment is too long. I love change, but I never thought that one change could alter EVERYTHING. I dont want to be without him and I cannot imagine how hard each day will be. Idaho just will not have the same charm as if he were experiencing it with me...

*-.A Birthday Surprise. -*

So my birthday wish came true...i'm engaged. It feels so surreal & I just cannot believe it's happening. It is not like everything has changed -- obviously -- it's just nice to know that we are on our way to spending the rest of our lives together. It is going to be a long engagement -- for i feel that we have some establishing of our lives before we start one together. I want to get through a couple years of college and Aaron wants to get into a good job. Our relationship is too serious to just be boyfriend and girlfriend -- we've talked about marriage and our future more than anyone i know. Engagment is right for us && i'm soo happy i could burst! <33> This birthday was more than i ever dreamed -- getting engaged is so exciting -- i feel as though i could scream from the happiness running through me.

Too young to know....?

It becomes more difficult to be young and in love -- i know what i want, yet it seems that behind every corner there is criticism waiting to attack.

it's funny...Aaron and i knew that we loved eachother after only a few days. It sounds young, naieve --what have you -- but we just knew. && now...after being together over a year [i'm ready to take things a little farther --engagement sounds beautiful doesnt it?] He is the one...i know it. Ever since i was a little girl, i dreamed of a guy like him && now that i have him all i want is to take the next step in being his forever. I dont want to be married tommorow -- no -- i want to be engaged. That's right...ENGAGED! It sounds young...stupid...immature? But i have it all planned in my head. A long engagement...give me time to get through college -- save money -- plan. But every time the thought dances in my head, i am brought back to that state of mind -- being the little girl who wanted nothing more than to please her parents, be the perfect little angel they wanted. it feels that just because i want to be engaged -- wait a while to actually get married so that we could be financially stable-- i am bad and a disappointment.

why must we conform to society. our love is real...we've been through so much in the time we've spent in eachothers grace, and nothing was too hard to handle.

i know that with him, i will always be okay. He is more than just my boyfriend, but my best friend and hero. Why is that not enough...?

See and be free...

Open your heart, little one
your life has merely begun
it's all too soon to be so gone
all locked up and it's only dawn

Forever, plus it all and more
life is waiting behind every door
the clock has struck ground floor
it's no time to fear the shore

sit up on your feet
this is not the day for defeat
too much to ignore, and oh too sweet
the moment has come for you to be

open your heart, let it free
no longer must you hide from thee
for your life is in jubilee

-Kimberly Michelle

You're Beautiful...

...my curves...

I look in the mirror...only to pull at my clothes, my hair -- my flaws? Or are my imperfections what make me beautiful? Slowly...i'm starting to love myself for who I am -- even though it is imperfect. My body is not toned like models in the magazines...but maybe i like that. Who says curves cant be beautiful? I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who thinks i'm more than beautiful [this is of which he tells me daily]. I just wish that society would accept all shapes and sizes -- not just have ONE that is considered the ideal. And i wish that girls would accept themselves -- love their curves -- or for those who have no curves, love themselves for that too. It really got me to thinking a couple days ago when people at work were talking about my shape and I was like "...yea, my fat..." and they were like "NO...YOUR curves. You are like the brunette marilyn monroe." I couldnt help but feel good about myself. I wish every girl could just stop obesessing over their looks -- simply accept them and love them <333 <333 <333

-Life is Easy-

Life is made so much more complicated than it really is. People worry so much about tommorow...next week...next year. They never truly live their lives. That is no way to spend one's time here on earth. Yes, It is important to have a GOAL one wants to accomplish...but to plan out each breath of the way is simply a waste of precious time. Living is about taking each day at a time and dealing with those unexpected moments --- that is what makes life so beautiful. No two lives are the same and that fact should be treasured. Since graduation...i've learned so much about life and myself. Granted it has only been a month-- i feel like i've finally come to a major realization. For once in my life...i dont want to run, i want to walk down life's breathtaking road and see all that it has to offer. I dont want to regret anything--wishing my time away would only be a regret later down the road. LIfe is too short to stay mad -- waste time in insecurity -- or choose a frown over a smile. Happiness is all around us -- one can choose their own feelings. Why not choose happiness? There's never a day or moment we can get back once it is spent. How do you want to remember the moments as they play out in your head years down the road? I want to remember more happiness and love than anything else -- so that it seems like pain and sadness barely existed within the years.

"A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night." - Marilyn Monroe

Live for the things that can provide happiness simply through existence --live for love, because in the end, it is the only thing that will truly stay alive or even matter.